


The Beginner's Guide

by charab



Series: Stamp Of Approval [21]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Everyday ANBU, Hokage's office, M/M, angry kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:22:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9607427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charab/pseuds/charab
Summary: Even ANBU knew their codex didn't cover all bases.





	

**Author's Note:**

> No excuses and no regrets. My sense of dirty humor got the better of me, to celebrate the updates I have been finally able to put out.  
> Prompt: Angry Kiss

When it came to introducing the new employees to their work at the ANBU squads, there were a few key points which were essential for the newcomers to understand on their first day.  
  
“Where is he.”  
  
For one, information existed to be shared among the ranks, no matter how trivial it would be treated.  
  
“Have you seen him.”  
  
For two, if one did not label their lunch, it was all fair game. That is, them being so paranoid that they would more likely katon the suspicious bento into oblivion than open the lid and eat the contents. In short, ANBU trainees had a very impressive learning curve; that usually helped with the last two key points.  
  
“Is he in there.”  
  
For three, when Umino-san stopped using questions when searching for Hatake-sama _they_ _answered him_ and then got themselves out of range as fast as they could.  
  
“Let me in.”  
  
Lastly, ANBU or not, when Umino-san calmly demanded to see his partner, for whatever reason, they _did not_ put themselves between the man and the source of his ire. Usually those moments were put down on the log as impromptu surveillance training out of immediate sight. For they had to loiter around, just in case they needed to intervene if anything sharp started to fly. So far it had only been a couple of staplers and a paper weight that had left a dent on the wall, though there were rumors circling about one wayward senbon when Shiranui had happened to wander into the office and had been hit with the cross-fire.  
  
Right then, as they listened to the steady rise of volume from the other side of the door, the more experienced ANBU deemed it to be still safe for them to continue observing the situation. There was, however, one rookie in their squad, who apparently had not yet learned to discern Umino’s murderous state based on only his voice levels.  
  
With that taken into account, his superiors could have specified how exactly he could check on the room’s occupants when the yelling had died down into vehement debating with very evenly enunciated words.  
  
In retrospect, the idea of dropping down from the ceiling right next to peeved Umino-san, who was said to possess reflexes quick enough to cut short even Uzumaki-san’s mischief, could have used a second opinion.  
  
“I don’t know if I should be proud of you being able to knock out my guards with bare hands or worried that Konoha’s ANBU is losing their touch,” Kakashi mused while he stared at the limp body of Hare on his office floor and his dark-haired lover fussing over it.  
  
“Probably both,” Iruka grunted while trying to slap lights back into the unfortunate ANBU’s mind. Deeming it futile, the teacher let the masked nin’s head thump back on the thin pillow he had pilfered from Kakashi’s chair. “Damn idiots, putting up a first-timer for this.”  
  
“The only way for them to learn,” the Rokudaime spoke with a sliver of nostalgia tinting his words, the unhelpful bastard. “He’s fine, there’s not even swelling visible.”  
  
“How can your eyes detect the physical condition of your subordinates from four meters away but not see the difference between a bag of caltrops and of glass marbles is beyond me,” Iruka commented dryly while he sent out a chakra flare as a signal for the other animal-masked pests to go get a medic.  
  
“At least you can’t say that the kids don’t learn new things everyday,” was not the smartest answer Kakashi could give at that point. That, however, had nothing on what was said next: “Besides, a good shinobi would have been able to know the difference with their other senses beside sight. You should try teaching them that.”  
  
Later on, when the day's paperwork needed to be done, the ANBU captain who had been supervising the squad for the day’s guarding duty penned down the day's report, stating the following. When they had arrived at the scene, Umino-san was seen first swinging a bag he had taken from the Rokudaime’s desk at the man’s head. After having failed slugging their superior commander with the unidentified object, Umino-san had proceeded to snag a hold on Hatake-sama’s neck and wipe the grin off the masked face with a rather impressive assault of sharp teeth on the man’s lower lip. At that point, the rookie had woken up and shown the first signs of healthy Umino-fear, so their squad had to take their leave for a few moments. What was written down to describe their very curt visit at Hatake-sama's office when they had returned to check for the possible carnage, caused the ANBU captain in question to pause for a moment of awkward silence before sealing the report and dropping it into their filing department.  
  
As they walked down to the locker rooms, the elite trainer for their rookie divisions silently wondered if the Konoha Academy’s Headmaster’s training included studying such use of glass marbles.  
  
The things one learned.


End file.
